Marmalade Jam and Chocolate 'Eclairs ©

Story Concept ----

This story establishes a new, unusual, and amusing creature, which seems oblivious to all but it's own needs and pursuits. It's certain that children will view adults, at times, as exhibiting similar self-absorption and incomprehensible behavior.

It's habits are not destructive and it focuses on a primary desire to read.
The attitude of the narrator is one of concession and not confrontation - e.g. "I've always been taught, when someone is reading, not to disturb with something I'm needing."
"It never has, really, acted the pest. No reasons have I to complain of my guest."
(As an illustration, the creature sits in a laundry basket reading and the narrator does not wish to interrupt him - even when he must do his laundry. The creature is turning all colours of the laundry, camouflaging with polka dots, stripes, checks, etc.)
Amusing illustrations are proposed, such as the creature standing on the roof reading in silhouette, during a full moon.
or
" in the dark, upside down, in the closet, in the hall."
(the only things visible when looking into the dark closet are: two white eyeballs, part of a book, and white sneakers - with everything upside down)

Knocking, upon the front door,
it was an unexpected visitor.
With the door swung wide open, to have a good look,
there was some thing there, and it carried a book.
Covered with fur, only two feet tall,
it looked so worried, and was so small.

A letter and card was all that it shared.
It stood there and stared,
all alone and quite scared.

The letter was clear; an old friend sent him here,
asked if I'd help, and was very sincere.
The card was more puzzling, than not.
It was a library card, with a marmalade spot.

So, I invited it in, wishing not to offend,
an invitation to stay I did freely extend.

What I didn't know then, but I do know today,
once at my front door, it had planned a long stay.
It's time was spent reading; mostly, that's what it did,
except for collecting marmalade lids.
Some other habits were very strange too.
Always, I could expect something new.
It had a fond liking for my grandfather clock,
which it stared at for hours, tick-tock, tick-tock.

On Thursdays, it walked up and down in the hall,
trying to look as if it was tall.

It's colour would change, it always seemed new;
One day it was purple, and another day blue.
If the weather was cloudy, it's colour was green,
or sometimes might even be aquamarine.

It had all the kids on our street, up and down,
collecting marmalade lids around town.

I know that they're hidden, all over the place,
even way up on top of the tallest book case.

" It sits on your roof," the neighbours would tell,
" even at night, when the moon is out bright,
it stands at the edges, and balances well."

When I wasn't at home, it would march back and forth,
on the lawn, in the front;
no one was sure, just what it could want.
It would read everywhere, except in a nice chair.
It would read on the stairs, while eating chocolate 'eclairs.

Everywhere it was able, it would even read under a table.

It was really strange, to see, when reading high up in a tree.

And the very strangest of all;
it would read in the dark,
upside down,
in the closet,
in the hall.

I've always been taught, that when someone is reading,
not to disturb with something I'm needing.

I noticed it reading the book, "Peter Pan",
then swing 'round and 'round, by it's toes, on the fan.

It never has, really, acted the pest.
No reasons have I to complain of my guest.

One day it was gone, ended the visit,
and I really don't know why it is that I miss it.

It sent me a card, with wax crayon and ink,
and tried to say thank-you;
that's what I think.

It was, certainly, puzzling and misunderstood,
but will, someday, return to our neighbourhood.
When packing to go, one thing that it did,
was forget all the marmalade lids that it hid.

THE END

The Garden Party ©

Story Concept ----
This story amuses the reader by setting ample action and animated imagery.
It includes riddles that should only appear within the illustrations.
Without illustrations to support the verse, it may be difficult to visualize some of the activities - e.g. "Tom just squeezed through to the street, except for the shoes and socks from his feet." (as they scramble through the small hole in the wall, the vines still manage to grab off Tom's shoes and socks)
It offers important lessons such as: "Not to Trespass, no matter how thick the bushes and grass."
A primary lesson is the suggestion that humour can be disarming.
It's difficult to forget what happens to a garden, when left to grow old.


There's a party, in a garden, on Maple Tree Hill.
A party, I'm sure, that is going on still.
Every day it gets louder and bigger than many;
I think that it could be the biggest of any.

Tina and Tom liked to pass there each day;
and, sometimes, they'd even walk out of their way.
On their way home from school the party was loud.
It sounded to be a happy fun crowd.

Even, on days, when the weather was bad,
the party crowd seemed especially glad.
If the day was all cloudy and rain soaked their feet,
the sounds of the party splashed up the street.

But the house was quiet, with no one at home.
The lawn was forgotten; it was quite overgrown.
The gates were chained tight, chained tight for some years,
and the bushes all thick in the front and the rear.
No neighbours were near, to disturb or drop by,
and the stone wall, all around, would stop those who might try.

There are stories of things you may never be told;
like, what happens to gardens when they're left to grow old.

Tina and Tom were a curious two.
They had to know more, more than they knew.
Tom painted Tina, and Tina painted Tom;
they hoped that the watercolour green would stay on.
Tom wore a watermelon shell on his head,
and some leaves made him look like a bush, that's well fed.
He now was a vegetable, all covered in green,
with a plan to sneak through the garden, unseen.

Wearing those glasses, she needed, to see,
Tina looked like a nearsighted tree.

In that garden, well hidden from those who can't climb,
they would both sneak a peek, and be home for lunch time.

Tom would need help getting over the wall.
Even with vines, the wall was too tall.
From where Tina stood,
with a good push, she thought that he could.
Once over the top, some vines were moving on their own.
Tina and Tom were not all alone.
It sounded as if the party was near.
The talking and laughter were easy to hear.
Listening to every word of the group,
Tom started to feel like a terrible snoop.
He knew that they shouldn't trespass,
no matter how thick the bushes and grass.

They followed the voices, near to the middle,
when both of them heard a lumberjack riddle.

RIDDLE: " What did the Tree say to the Lumberjack? "
ANSWER: " Don't axe me."

Tom started to laugh; he just couldn't stop,
when his watermelon shell dropped off, with a ‘PLOP’.
Some watermelon seeds, that were stuck on Tom's nose,
started Tina to laugh, and drop leaves off her clothes.

The party grew quiet, to view this unrest.
Tina and Tom were both party pests.
The vines, that were following, wound up 'round their wrists; both Tina and Tom were tied up in twists.
In front of them stood a six foot tall weed,
a dandelion in a sports jacket of tweed.

A garden is different from all other places.
It's magic can even give sunflowers faces.
After a time, some plants it replaces,
with lots of strange ones, that can talk in most cases.
Tom didn't like what each had to say.
The weeds were all whispering about making them stay.
" No one must know of our garden in here,
one said, they must stay, for at least a whole year. "

Tina knew how to escape from the vines;
she quickly told Tom, and he wasted no time.
Tom started telling some jokes that were old.
Soon, the vines became loose, and began to unfold.

RIDDLE: " Why did the tree cross the road? "
ANSWER: " The shade was better on the other side. "

RIDDLE: " What would you call a smart garden that jokes? "
ANSWER: " A wiseacre. "

One after another, ten jokes Tom told.
The vines wiggled, then wriggled, and let go their hold.
Then, Tina and Tom ran straight for the wall,
and a small hole in the wall,
through which they might crawl.

Tom just squeezed through to the street,
except for the shoes and socks from his feet.

Behind them, they heard, the grass was still giggling;
and the trees, all around, were dancing and jiggling.
They haven't told anyone, what happened that day;
Tina and Tom think it better that way.

Now, whenever they pass by the wall, Tom will yell.
He tells them a joke,
and the weeds think it's swell.

Whenever you find you're with unfriendly folks,
it may be the best to tell some good jokes.

THE END

Pressed It to Test It ©

Story Concept ----

This is clearly just for fun.
The story is a collection of amusing individual incidents caused by children pressing the wrong buttons.
It acts as a warning against pressing buttons just to test what will happen.
The verse alone can not fulfill a wide variety of funny ideas.

Illustration Examples:

"When the dust finally settled, Larry's brother was gone."
( The illustration shows Larry's brother is not missing, but he is found isolated at the top of a nearby tree, hanging over a branch.)

"When the refrigerator door is closed, the light always goes off!"
( The illustration shows the refrigerator tied up solidly with very thick ropes, so that Kenny cannot open it again.)

"Now the town fishes in Sheepwash lake."
( The illustration is a calm lake, with a man fishing out in the middle; he is pulling out, hooked to his line, a car steering wheel .)

"The swimming pool drained. The swimmers were gone."
( The illustration is of a giant swimming pool whirlpool with all the pool occupants going down the drain.)

"Some people tumbled, and others just jumped."
( The illustration shows a ball of people at the bottom of the escalator)

"...only press buttons you know are okay."
( The front cover illustration is a large red button and the last page is covered with a variety of tempting button illustrations.)


Some children press buttons.
It's more than just play.
They must press one,
at least one, every day.
They won't flip a switch,
twist a dial, or knob.
The habit they have is really most odd.

Not with his fingers and not with his toes,
Dempsey Nesbitt pressed buttons with only his nose.
He pressed it and pressed it, just couldn't stop,
until the end of his nose went really quite flat.

Larry Richard's small brother, named Gary,
got lost in a storm that was scary.
Larry pressed a small button, to test what it did,
and the back of the vacuum popped off the dust lid.
The room was all dusted;
It swirled and gusted.
The house disappeared.
For an hour it blew.
The dust cloud was seen for a mile or two.
When the dust finally settled, Larry's brother was gone.
It could have been worse,
if the vacuum was turned on.

Kenny found a small button,
behind the refrigerator door,
and pressed it to test it;
he had to know more.
He kept up his pressing, and asked everyone,
" Does it go off? or does it stay on? "
He just wouldn't stop.
Each day was the same.
His mother screamed, " Stop!, no more of this game! " That's enough! "
" When the refrigerator door is closed, the light always goes off! "

Myrtle Carmichael lives high on the top,
in the tallest apartment,
forty-six stories up.
Myrtle Carmichael pressed a button that's red. "
I pressed it to test it,"
That’s what she said.

On her way down, the emergency button was there.
She gave all the people a terrible scare.
The elevator stopped,
alarm bells rang out,
and everyone in the elevator started to shout.

Myrtle can't ride anymore.
She climbs up the stairs to the forty-sixth floor.

Now, every time Christopher Tate goes out,
there's a sitter to watch, just to look out.
Pressing the button was wrong.
The swimming pool drained.
The swimmers were gone.

The picture flipped up, the colour was wrong,
the sound was too loud, and faces were long.
Marty Stinton pressed buttons,
when no one could see.
He liked pressing buttons on the family TV.

Sherri wanted to test one, but no one knows why.
There weren't very many, if any, she'd try.
She didn't like red; this was true.
No matter what colour, it had to be blue.
If it was round, it had to be square.
If it was here, it had to be there.
She never could find a button just right.
She wants to press one,
but one that she likes.

Luisa Marino walked in her sleep,
and dreamed about buttons, all over her street.
She woke the whole neighbourhood up in the night.
Doorbells are just buttons;
I'm certain that's right.

When the garage door came down,
Dave's dad was much louder,
than their new family car,
the ‘Turbo Thunderclouder’.

Danny Sheepwash's dad owned the junkyard in town.
There were lots of old buttons, just lying around.
Pressing each one, every chance he would get,
none of the buttons made people upset.
Then, he saw a small button,
above a small spout;
He pressed it, to test it, and water came out.
He pressed it again.
It was a mistake.
Now the town fishes in Sheepwash Lake.

Alistair Shaw liked amusement park rides.
There wasn't a ride that he hadn't tried.
He'd stay on each one, no matter how quick.
He rode all the worst, and never was sick.
Then he spotted a small button, at the front of his car.
He wanted to press it;
It was shaped like a star.
Reaching and stretching, he pressed it at last.
The ride car sped up;
it was moving too fast.
The car started swirling,
rolling and swooping,
bobbing and spinning,
whipping and looping.
He won't ever press the button again.
Most of his lunch was mistaken for rain.

The sign said, " HOLD HANDS AND STAY CLOSE TO THE RAIL."
It only left out one little detail;
" DON'T PRESS THIS BUTTON ", is something it needs,
even if Billy still doesn't read.

Some people tumbled, and others just jumped.
When the escalator stopped, they ended up clumped.

The teacher said, to a class of twenty-two,
"Don't wander off, whatever you do."
And the man told them all,
"Don't press that small button, over there, on the wall."
Twenty-one of them pressed it;
but before Mickey did, it started to spark.
When all of the lights went out it was dark.

Now the whole city doesn't have power;
The rest of the class blamed Mickey McGower.

Don't press any buttons, especially when new,
it may cause you trouble, whenever you do.
If, for some reason, you think that you may;
only press buttons you know are okay.

THE END

Snow Alligators ©

Story Concept ----

Children are thoroughly enchanted with the original concept of "Snow Alligators".

This story establishes a new myth. It places Snowmen as the defenders against Snow Alligators, and only Snowmen built by children have the necessary magic to ward off this snow menace. Children delight in this innocuous fearsome threat. It perpetuates the construction of snowmen, and solidifies a reason for this already common activity. In warm or seasonally cold climates, this story fires a child's imagination.

On the very last page is the word "SCARE!" Adults may use this opportunity to explode and to tickle the child. From then on, children will often giggle with anticipation of this activity and the nature of the story.

It was January the 5th., about a quarter to four,
it started to snow, then a little bit more.

By early next day, there was nearly three feet;
it covered the ground with a thick frozen sheet.

The school was closed, no need to attend,
and travel on roads they did not recommend.

Johnny Alexander Macrory was stuck in the house, he was told,
not simply because of the snow outside, but mostly because of his cold.

He caught it from Janey Tremaine,
who caught it from Susan Blundaine;
and something most strange, never happened before,
all the children in town had caught it, all one hundred and four.
So, if snow hadn't fallen that day,
they would all of stayed home, anyway.

The snow was there waiting,
covering sidewalks and roads,
expecting the children,
no matter how cold,
to rush out their doors and roll in the white;
Always, that's what is expected and right.

Keeping indoors, inside from the weather,
no one was out playing together.

Not having snowmen, castles, or forts,
was breaking the rules of winter, all sorts;
and rules are rules, no matter how silly,
even when weather outside is so chilly.

Johnny knew that the town had troubles ahead.
"We must build Snowmen," that's what he said.
"Only we kids build them just right,
the kind that give alligators a terrible fright."
He warned the whole town,
from the very first flake,
" Not having Snowmen is a mistake."

If there's no snowmen, to guard and protect,
Snow Alligators you can always expect.
Snowmen look fierce,
they look tall, from down below,
and keep away alligators,
just like a scarecrow.

No Snowmen were built;
outside was too cold;
that's what they say;
that's what we are told.

In back yards and front, under bushes and trees,
no Snowmen were found, just lots of deep freeze.
When there's no Snowmen we know that they'll come;
but, we don't know, just where they are from.

Under the snowflakes, unmarked and clean,
that's where they hide, because they're not green.
Where no tires, nor boots, nor skis have left trails,
whatever you do don't step on their tails.

The mailman won't deliver our mail.
Somebody said, " He stepped on a tail."
They sneak in the snow, with bulging eyes and white snout;
they'll give you a scare;
you better watch out.

They follow young children around,
stealing their mittens, scarves, and toques on the ground.
Children often lose these, deep in the snow;
and the Snow alligators snatch them below.

Some say, " They come looking for me or for you;
looking, to add us to snow alligator stew."

Johnny Alexander Macrory was over his cold very quick.
I think that he may not have been very sick.
He was the first outside, first in the snow,
and built four large snowmen, all in a row.

He then built a fort; it's best to prepare;
the fort had a flag warning alligators beware.

It might seem unlikely, or some kind of story,
but not for Johnny Alexander Macrory.
At the end of the day, he went straight to bed,
"Tired from saving our town," so he said.

We can only guess what happened that night.
From Johnny's back yard came a terrible fright.

There were crashes and flashes, scary stuff in the dark;
so scary the big dog next door didn't bark.

The next morning, in the snow,
there were hundreds of toques, scarves, and one small mitten;
but the snowmen were still in a row, and unbitten.

For some of the neighbours it's hard to believe,
and others are packing their things just to leave.

Look very carefully, while out on your sled,
It's best to see Snowmen and not something unfed.

The rules of winter must never be broken;
with the first winter snows you must always build Snowmen.
If, for some reasons, you don't really care,
then out in the snow you may have a great...SCARE!

THE END